wrfmlogsarchive | here's a lullaby to close your eyes

Who: Mabry and Medrau
What: a very friendly chat
Where: in a dream
When: Saturday night

Mabry went to bed with some anxiety. She wanted to talk to Medrau, and she was certain that Medrau's own curiosity would drive her to attend their rendevous . . . what she was less sure of was her own safety. Her husband was sitting awake by her side as she slept, as a safety measure. But her greatest method of defense hung above the bed, a dream-catcher Song herself had made for her in a design that was supposed to give one the dreams that one needed. Hopefully, that could turn things in her favor.

Of course Medrau could not resist. Song hadn't even bothered arguing when she found out Mabry's plan. It was so like the sort of thing she herself would have done, there was really no point in fighting it, so she tried her best to put her worries aside that night and let her sister interview her uninvited partner.
Having all week to think about it, Medrau had taken her time designing the dreamscape before she let her guest in. It was the interior of a tower, walls creamy white and broken by small windows shaped vaguely like clover leaves. The furnishings were white as well, fairly simple in design, but elegant. In contrast, Medrau herself was shrouded in an overlarge black cloak, and sat casually cross-legged on the edge of a canopied bed.

Mabry took a single step into the room, glanced around briefly, and raised an eyebrow. "Well, at least you have some of her sense of style, I suppose."

Medrau's face lit up. She was still quite good at presenting a facade of innocence. "And here I was expecting to be scolded for daring to present myself as the Childlike Empress. You're too polite for someone I nearly killed."

Mabry laughed. "Well, I do try to practice courtesy at all times. An incidentally, stabbing me was a major faux pas."

"It was entertaining, though. As is this." She waved a hand expressively. "I'd expect it from Robin, not from you. What exactly do you want to talk about?"

Mabry plopped down on the be beside the other woman with absolutely no fuss. "I'm hear actually, because I don't want to repeat the greatest mistake of my life."

"Let me guess - losing your sister again?" Medrau sounded amused.

Mabry nodded. "I rejected her when she revealed herself, and I regret it, because in doing so I rejected half of my sister, when what I should have done was love her."

"So touching. But you can't expect to befriend me, surely. I'm not just some lost and confused Nobody, you know."

"Of course not," Mabry agreed. "But you are a part of her, aren't you? You're not just some random possessing entity. If you were, you wouldn't look so much like her. I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner."

Medrau offered a gentle, resigned smile. "So you've found me out. Well, it wasn't the biggest secret. Sweet Shaderic was on to it the first time he saw me." The image of her flickered. For half second, the figure of Medrau was replaced by something completely inhuman, yet also familiar. A monster out of a child's nightmare - black of skin with a matted red mane and large blue eyes that glowed like lamps. Then it was gone and she was still smiling.

Mabry did not show any sign of alarm. "And if I could love the part of you that had no heart, how can I not also love the part of you that is your heart gone wrong?"

"Love me if you like, but it won't stop me from loathing you. You should know, I'm incapable of anything else."

"I don't believe that," Mabry said firmly. "She never believed that anything was impossible and neither do you."

"Oh, but it is impossible. It's so simple. I am her hate and her despair. I am her sorrow, her lonliness, her doubt... You could even say that I am the negative side of her love, for Love does have its own darkness. But I cannot love. That is for her. It is so," she held up an index finger, "because she and I are two halves. A very. Simple. Dichotomy." Her voice, when she explained things, was light and lilting, very much like Song's but exaggeratedly so.

"So you are less than a half?" Mabry inquired. "I do not believe it. You share something or you would not have access to her memories--which clearly you do since you have been spying on us for Maleficent. But even if that were truly the case . . . she learned to love when she had no heart at all, every bit as impossible." Mabry voice became serious. "Mark my words, I put her back together once and I will do it again. Somehow, we will find a way."

"Oh, I'm sure." Medrau rolled her eyes, expressing impatience. "You can try all you like. I'm certainly not going anywhere. I look forward to your disappointment."

Mabry shook her head. "If I'm right, you won't be disappointed. Because you'll be her again, and I think you'll be happy. Which leaves only Maleficent to be disappointed. And I find I can live with that just fine."

"Well you see, love, that's just the thing - you cannot make me happy. You can make her happy, but I," she gestured at her own face, "this consciousness with which I define myself, it is her Darkness incarnate. I can only speak to you this way because I reside in her body and mind. Separate us, and I become the Heartless - hungry, mindless, and hateful. She cannot be happy without me, but happiness would be my death."

Mabry considered this. "But you'll always be a part of her, even when you are whole again. And then you will be here, and you will be happy. Because you are her."

"Tch," the sound was almost a laugh. "This is beginning to sound like a religious debate. If you won't let go of that belief, then who am I to force you? It will be more fun to watch you try and fail, anyway."

Mabry's face was amused more than anything else. "So, how long have you been there inside of her . . . separate?"

"Oh, quite a while. I must admit, our plans did not move as quickly as they could have. I was here long enough to become bored out of my mind. Rather contradictory, seeing as I was stuck in hers." She winked, knowing how Mabry liked puns.

Mabry smiled briefly at the pun. "And you have a sense of humor, as well."

"I share an unfortunate many traits with her. Another is my weakness for a good, long talk. Might I ask, is there anything else important you came here to say?"

Mabry considered it. "Well, I was hoping for an apology, but I doubt I'm going to get one. I wondered if it was easy stabbing me. And I wondered what the black stone was. But I doubt I'll get that either."

Medrau's smile was cold this time. "You know I can't make it that easy."

Mabry raised an eyebrow. "So was it easy? that at least, I think you can answer."

"Isn't that obvious? It was too easy. I could have kept my cover up if I hadn't hurt you." The smile cracked to show her teeth.

Mabry mused, "I wonder if it was the fact that all her love is echoed in you as hate or if it is genuine hate she has for me deeply buried."

Medrau blinked as she took that in, then grinned even bigger, seeming absolutely delighted with the question. "Oh, you clever girl. This is too priceless to touch. I'll have to leave you wondering on that one."

"I doubt you know yourself," Mabry replied."

"Oh, I know. I am a piece of her heart, after all. There is no greater intimacy."

"That isn't intimacy," Mabry said thoughtfully. "That's like saying your intimate with your spleen."

"My spleen does not have its own personality," she pointed out playfully.

"Do you know that? Have you asked it?"

"No, sorry, give me a moment..." she closed her eyes and assumed an expression of deep concentration. "... Ah, as it turns out, his name is Bob. I'd kick him out if I didn't need him in there. Quite a peeping tom, that Bob."

Mabry burst out laughing. "Actually a spleen isn't necessary for life, just useful. My stepfather had his removed when he was young."

"Well in that case, maybe the next person to feel my knife will be your Song. Wouldn't that be exciting?"

Mabry raised an eyebrow. "What harm you do to her, you do to yourself. I doubt you are so foolish to cut off your nose to spite your face."

Medrau shrugged. "Hardly matters to me, really. As I pointed out, I've spent quite a lot of time inactive already. And I could still dream..."

"So you too seek the Dreaming?" Mabry asked curiously.

"I wouldn't mind it. It could be more useful than this world, but I'm not desperate," she said.

Mabry frowned. "Frankly, what puzzles me is this. If you cannot feel happiness and apparently have no desire to alter that fact, what can you strive for, what can you desire? How can there be a point to any of it?"

"You think happiness is the point of existance?" Medrau scoffed.

"No, but the desire for it is what motivates me, isn't it?" Mabry asked thoughtfully. "I mean, it is for me. I desire good things for myself and others so that they will be happy, and the world will itself be happier and better for it."

"I desire, yes, but not for happiness. Why would I? It would essentially destroy me."

"Then what do you desire instead?"

"I am a Heartless. The only difference between myself and any Shadow is that I still share my Other's mind." she spread her arms wide in a grandiose gesture, smiling again. "What do you think I desire?"

"I don't know," Mabry replied. "But that isn't really the point, is it? When you acquire something you want, don't you feel . . . something?"

"Satisfaction is not the same thing as happiness."

"How is it different?"

She was getting impatient again. "Would you like me to say that it isn't? Would it satisfy you if I told you I could be happy? It's certainly a stretch of the word's definition, but as it is the closest thing I can feel to human happiness, then call it that if you want."

"I'm merely curious," Mabry answered.

Medrau sighed and thought about it. "Well, I suppose if you really want an honest answer... I would like to be the one in control... I would like to erase the other personality in here, or banish her, and keep this body for myself. A human body, and the will of a Heartless... I could be like Xehanort himself, almost. As it is, I have such a fragile existence."

Mabry nodded. "I understand. I don't agree. But I understand."

"Is that all, then?"

Mabry considered it. "It could be. I doubt this will be the last time we talk."

"Oh, certainly not, even if we don't meet again in dreams."

"And next time I suppose you'll try to kill me again . . . why didn't you kill me?"

"Because I wanted to hurt you. You can't hurt very well if you are dead."

"Ah." Mabry sighed. "Brat."

She nodded. "Some things don't change."

Of course they don't, Mabry thought.

Deciding not to give Mabry a chance to revive the conversation, Medrau dismissed her and terminated the dream.

Mabry awoke. She had learned much, probably more than Medrau realized or intended, but not as much as she had hoped. At least one unasked question was already bugging her. But that was for later. For now, she had to decide how much to tell Song.