trust is like a vase

[songbird9.livejournal.com]

Who: Ray and Song
What: Song questions Ray about the Light Corridors. The sparks don't quite fly, but they may have flapped their proverbial arms a bit.
Where: Yen Sid's Tower
When: sometime this week


Song had put off talking to Ray for a few days. She'd been angry, in all honesty, at the secret kept, but she'd thought better of approaching Ray in anger and had cooled her temper with magic practice instead.
Her curiosity wasn't so easy to settle, however, and she finally caught her fellow Refugee outiside the Tower with a blunt greeting of "Ray, you owe me a story."

Ray turned to see Song, mildly surprised. "Yeah, I guess I do." She sighed and went to take a seat on the steps. "Where do you want me start?"

"How did you learn to use the portals, and when?"
Directness was not Song's usual approach, but Ray was one of the exceptions. She'd developed an odd, vague sense of rivalry towards the other, a clash of personalities, perhaps. Whether Ray was even aware of it or not, it handicapped Song's skills of diplomacy and made conversation difficult, at least on her side. One of those silly little weaknesses of the heart, it seemed.

She did notice the change in tactics, but didn't think much of it. All it did for Ray was make things a bit easier.
"I didn't," she answered honestly, holding up her wrist to show a bracelet. "I found it at Star Market. I like shiny jewelry, and this one stuck out. The merchant told me what it was when I picked it up, and explained it to me after I paid." She looked down with a shrug, clasping her hands together. "I've been researching it since then, though."

Song focused on the bracelet intently, at the same time trying to keep her brow from furrowing, which proved a bit difficult.
"Why didn't you tell us?" By 'us' she meant the Refugees as a whole, of course.

"Because I couldn't do much with it? Because I still can't? There's a lot of limitations that I'm still testing and trying to get around. I may have been researching Light Portals for a while now, but it's slow going, especially when I'm learning other spells at the same time. I didn't want anyone to get overexcited about it when there's still a lot that I need to learn."

Song nodded slightly, leaning back against the wall of the tower and looking out into the mist beyond.
Her expression was still hard.
"If we had known in advance, and been able to plan around it, could it have been used to evacuate more people? Even a few?"

Another sigh, and Ray put her face in her hand. "I don't know. If I world-skip once with this thing, I can't again for a least another few days. Best I can do at that point is just portal within the world, and only over short distances. Taking as many people as I did before left it out of commission for over a week. So I really don't know if it would have helped."
"If I knew more about it, I might be able to stretch its capabilities some more. Yen Sid says some day I might be able to do it without help or such limitations, but for now..." She shook the bracelet a little. "I'm just stuck with this, trying to make it more useful to us."

Ray's reaction sparked sympathy for her, which in itself surprised Song. She was rather grateful for it.
"I guess it doesn't matter now. I just..." she gestured with a hand as if trying to grasp words out of the air. "I don't like secrets between the Refugees. Personal issues, sure. Everyone has those. But something useful or important, that could make a difference - it doesn't seem right. Sometimes we don't trust each other enough, I think." It was about as close as she felt like getting to admitting that she didn't always trust Ray, or a number of the others, for that matter.

"I've told who I needed to tell. Brandon, back at the wedding, and Ari. And I'd trust both of them with my life." Ray looked at Song, wanting to be as honest as she could with her words. "But I don't trust everyone enough to tell them that. Some people I don't trust at all and maybe never will. Some people I have trusted and was shown that that was wrong."
She stood, brushing off her pants without really noticing if they needed it. "So I will keep to myself what I wish to. I never lied about having this, and I won't now. But it's my decision to reveal what I wish about my capabilities, and I'll tell what I'm willing to, and keep my secrets secret. I don't really care what you guys think about that." Ray gave her a humorless smile. "Besides, I'm not the one who prides herself on honesty, am I?"

And there was that wave of subtle aggression again. Song recalled how her father had once referred to a pair of women competing for control over the way a fellowship should be run. He'd called them the alpha bitches of the pack. That inadvertently made her echo Ray's smirk, much as she didn't like this sort of conflict.
"I suppose I can't change your way of thinking, whether or not I agree. To say I'm not guilty of similar opinions would be... against that honesty issue of mine, wouldn't it? All I hope is that distrust doesn't cripple what power we do share while the worlds fall down around us."

"It hasn't yet. Can't say if it will anytime soon." A shrug. "I guess we'll see what happens." Ray started to turn to go back inside, but she paused. "But I will save who I can. If I was going to just sit back and let people die while I have this power, I wouldn't have taken you guys to the Castle. I'll find a way to make it work. I just... I just need some more time."

Song kept her position, only following Ray's movement from the corners of her eyes. "I know. I'd make a much bigger fuss about it if I doubted you that much. Thanks for the rescue."

"Can't let you people go around stealing my title as the crazy one, can I? If we're done here, I'll be in one of the training rooms. Got some work to do." She started up the stairs again with a lazy wave.

"I thought we were all crazy here." She didn't seem to want a reply, though, pushing away from the wall and heading in the opposite direction. Ideal as it was for magic training, the tower daunted her. It was easier to think in the quiet streets of Twilight Town.