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songbird9.livejournal.com) wrote in
wrfmlogsarchive2011-02-21 11:42 pm
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maybe tomorrow is a better day
Who: Lilith, Song, Calum... (and a sleeping Josiah)
What: Song finally gets tired of playing out the same scene with Lilith and decides to try a different approach. Naturally, it proves even more frustrating.
Where: Radiant Garden's fountain court, Rainbow's End and Calum's dreamscape
When: Sunday or Monday (log took two nights...)
I do not deal the cards and I play a lousy hand,
I celebrate no victories and my promises are sand,
Against all this I contrast you, when all is lost the war is through...
Song was on the prowl. Her quest was one she'd achieved before, but it was proving tricky this time. She'd tried all the usual places and was now forced to scout out obscure districts of the city at random. Eventually, however, it all paid off in Radiant Garden's peaceful fountain court.
"The Lilith Hunter triumphs again," she announced mildly as she strolled over to meet her quarry.
Lilith, as usual, wasn't expecting company and levelled a cool blue gaze at Song the moment she entered the court. She looked rather unpleased at the sudden company, but said nothing to express her disapproval. Instead, she went back to looking at the cascading walls of water.
The silent treatment was typical. Song was unperturbed. "I guess I'll start with the usual questions. How's life and what in it makes you happy these days?"
Lilith didn't turn back to her when she stonily answered, "As normal as can be expected."
It may have come as no surprise that she didn't answer the latter question.
Song kept her sigh internal. She might have hoped that the year away would help Lilith's mood a touch, if nothing else could. Maybe give her enough time to work on a bit of closure with a certain ghost... but perhaps that was just wishful thinking.
"Well, it's been an exciting time for me. I wasn't even deprived of demonic influence while you were gone. Not entirely."
"Really." It wasn't much of a question. "I thought the goal was to stay out of trouble."
"Staying out of trouble is boring," she responded matter-of-factly. "Anyway, this fellow came looking for you. Made friends with a few of the Refugees while he was here, or tried to. You never told me you had a brother."
Lilith went absolutely still. Slowly, she turned back towards Song, her eyes narrowed, her beautiful face expressionless. "I don't have a brother."
James had mentioned that Lilith might not be terribly happy with him. Still, Song's eyebrows raised high enough to vanish under her bangs. The succubus could be scary.
"James did say you two weren't exactly the same. I got the feeling he was calling you his sister the same way I call Mabry mine."
"James," Lilith said, her voice as cold as an Arctic wind, "is a scheming, dangerous monster. He will never tell you the truth even when you think that he is." Crossing her arms, she took a few steps away from Song, a stormy and frustrated look in her eyes
Oh, dear. That was an unfortunate reaction. It wasn't entirely Song's fault this time, though. She was just the messenger.
She retained her conversational tone. "I'm not so foolish that I expect true friendship and honesty from every demon I run into on the street. I did a very good job resisting his... allure, I'm proud to say. I just thought you should know that he might turn up one day soon."
The dark-haired demon scoffed. "Oh really? Well, consider yourself fortunate."
Song just smiled. "Believe me, I'm not blind to my own good luck." She fell silent for a moment, judging it a good idea not to persue that topic any further without invitation.
For a long, tense moment, Lilith said nothing, just keeping her back to Song, lost in memories that she would not or perhaps could never share. The only sound was from the soft thunder of the water splashing just a few yards away.
Finally, she glanced at Song over her shoulder. "We're not staying long, you know."
The smile was gone by the time Lilith turned her head to look. "He told me. Thank you for coming to rescue me. You were late, but I think it's one of those situations where the thought is what counts."
Lilith shrugged, a small, elegant movement. "It was his idea when you didn't show up. He cares about you very much." Whether or not she herself thought it was a good idea was left unspoken.
"I know." Now it was only consideration for Lilith that kept her from smiling. Flaunting romance in front of the succubus was one of the easiest ways to make her miserable - even more so than usual.
"What have you been doing out there? Do you like the traveling?"
Another shrug. "Traveling is nothing new. I've seen enough worlds from my various masters to last me a thousand lifetimes."
"Well, yes, but at least you're in good company. When's the last time you travelled between worlds with someone you actually care about?" That had taken careful wording. Song knew the last time Lilith had travelled with someone she cared for, but not across worlds. Maybe the casually posed question would even win her some unknown information about the secretive succubus.
Silence. And then...
"We never had the chance. Not when he was..." She stopped herself, shaking her head. "It's inconsequential. What information are you looking for today, Song?"
Dang. Backfire. How hard was it to get backstory from Lilith which didn't involve Calum? Maybe as tricky as it was for Song to talk about her stint as a Nobody without making the story revolve around Xemnas...
"I'm not here to drill you for information. I just enjoy your company. Perhaps I'm a masochist."
"I've never had anyone enjoy my company that wasn't for recreational purposes except for two other people," came the nonchalant response. "And it has never bothered me."
"I didn't ask if it bothered you. I was simply stating a fact. I have this bad habit ofcaring about people, you know, whether or not they return my affection with smiles and hugs." She offered Lilith a small smirk, crossing her arms against the chill.
"Why?" Lilith asked, turning back to frown at Song. She looked genuinely confused. "I have never done to warrant that sort of affection or done anything that has been hospitable or kind to you, and yet you insist on befriending me. Is it because of your attachment to my master?"
Song's eyes flicked to the light-catching fountains as she considered the question. "When he first introduced you, I was just curious. I had things to prove, and part of that involved looking for goodness in beings who are presumed to be evil. I wanted to get to know you so that I could find something good in you, but also because I'd never met an actual demon before. You might have noticed that my greatest lust is for knowledge..."
"So I'm an experiment to satisfy your curiosity?"
"I wasn't finished. That was when I first met you, and those weeks before Xemnas fell. I honestly can't remember how I felt when I argued for your well-being while Josiah was looking for a way to keep everyone safe from you. It is possible I was just trying to win your favor," she conceded. "It is also possible that I only started to really care when I finally found that Light I was looking for."
Lilith rolled her eyes when Song mentioned Light. "I think you're deluding yourself, seeing what you want to see."
That made her grin slightly. "I've been told that before, but you can't deny that I did find some goodness in you, and it was something you had even before Josiah shared his human heart with you."
Lilith crossed her arms, taking on a defensive stance. "Your definition of goodness is very twisted. And I believe it worked more of the other way around, the bond demonizing him more than humanizing me."
Song closed her eyes and lowered her head. "I think perhaps you also have some ability to see only what you want to see. I'm not talking about effects. Caring for someone can have as ill results as favorable ones, even for ordinary humans. I'm talking about the simple ability to care. The desire to act for someone else's benefit instead of your own." She opened her eyes to observe Lilith's reactions. "That is commonly described as Good, you know. Good and Light and all those other fluffy human ideals."
"And when have I ever done that?" Her tone was disbelieving, her expression even more so.
"Generally, falling in love with someone qualifies."
Surprisingly, she didn't clam up at that comment. Instead, she laughed bitterly and her next words were self-deprecating. "And we see how well that often turns out."
Song shrugged. "Well, I did say the results weren't always favorable. I also said that wasn't the point." Her eyes narrowed as something occurred to her. "It seems to me that your measurement of your own worth depends entirely on whether or not you actually achieve something good. Would that be an accurate description?"
Her eyes flashed. "Tch. No. Your head is just full of silly ideas of love and goodness and faith - maybe you don't see that the world isn't like that. I have seen enough of it to know - and I've lived long enough to know myself well."
Song nodded. "That's exactly what I mean. You're only letting yourself see one half of the world. And need I remind you of how you saved several lives a while back, including mine and Josiah's? You freed yourself then, if I understand things correctly. It makes me wonder why you still call him your master."
She glanced off towards the waterfalls. "Perhaps I was only doing that to save myself - it was the only way to kill Calum, after all." She eyed Song warily. "What else would I call him?"
Song let that one go as a point which could be argued indefinitely without conclusion.
"You could try calling him by his name," she suggested with a cautious note of humor. "It's a rather pretty name, and besides, I thought you didn't like having a master."
She gave Song a look as if trying to figure out whether or not she was kidding. When she couldn't decide, she murmured, "It wouldn't seem right."
"Why not?" She accented the question with an innocent tilt of her head.
"Because it wouldn't." The look she gave Song was stony.
It took an effort not to laugh. "It just seems odd, you know, to keep deferring to him the way you do. He's, what... your food supply, travelling companion, and the host of the ghost of your ex-lover," she summerized bluntly. "Is it right to call him Master?"
Lilith's expression didn't budge. "If you're suggesting because of the familiarity I should call him by his name, then you're wrong."
Once again, the same tilted head and wide, innocent eyes. "Why's that? Familiarity is usually the best reason for using someone's name."
"Because of all my masters, there is only one I ever called by his given name. Pardon me if I don't want to go down that road again."
Oh. Well. That was a fair answer, and pretty much killed the almost-casual mood she'd been working on.
"... Ah," she acknowledged in a quiet voice. "I understand." She shut her mouth tightly then, picking her brain for a way to recover the conversation.
Lilith narrowed her eyes at Song, and then shook her head with a sigh, dismissing the conversation with almost too-much ease. "It doesn't matter. We'll be gone in a few days anyway."
Song studied the demon carefully, wearing a similar expression. "What does that matter? You've been gone for a year and a month and nothing's really changed."
"Things usually don't, at least not for those who have eternity to look forward to," came the casual response.
"You could try to change things if you wanted to. If you weren't afraid." She stepped away from Lilith and reached out to touch one of the cascading fountains, watching the water flow around her hand. "If you happened to fail, could you really be much more miserable than you are now?"
Lilith snapped her head towards Song. "I'm not afraid. I'd just rather not waste energy on trying to change the inevitable."
She spared a sideways glance at her would-be friend. "That's not what you said last time I asked."
She shrugged. "Maybe you should stop asking."
"Yes, well, that would require me to stop caring," she answered sarcastically, "and unfortunately I'm afflicted with a condition known as having a heart."
A scowl passed across her face. "You're far too sentimental for your own good."
"Oh, I know. I tell myself that all the time. I must point out, though, that the larger part of sentimentality involves dwelling on the past, and you do quite a lot of that yourself." She closed her fingers around the falling water as if she had the power to catch it. "At least one of us is still trying to change the future as well."
Lilith's eyes flashed with anger. "All of this time, and you really..." She glared darkly at Song before turning on her heel and storming out of the fountain court.
Song watched her go, frowning. Then she focused on the fountain again. The water pouring around her hand suddenly distorted, breaking into separate streams which twisted and spiraled upward, steadily gathering above her fist. Soon a globe of liquid floated there and she opened her hand, palm upward, as the orb began to rotate slowly. The rest of the cascade had parted around it like a veil.
"Nothing is impossible or inevitable. Someday maybe you'll learn that, Lil."
~
The result of the 'succubus hunt' was a source of frustration over the rest of the evening, but also a source of thought. It was starting to look like Song could explain her views in every conceivable way and Lilith would never be convinced. Perhaps it was time to examine the opinion of someone else...
Under the circumstances, it wasn't exactly hard for Song to catch Josiah asleep. She'd even had a year to improve the dream spell since the last time she used it on him. Hopefully that would make this easier...
It wasn't like Josiah's usual dreams - no, this one belonged to someone else entirely. It was a very dark night, not lit even by the moon, and strangely warm, the stars shining down on the crashing white spray of some beach that seemed to stretch on forever. Dunes of sand rose up just a few dozen yards away from the surf, along with patches of scraggly grass. It could have been any miniscule island in the Caribbean, but obviously this one was strangely special...
There was a man, looking out over the waves, dressed in the telltale clothing of a pirate but lacking a signature hat. But that allowed the dim light to reveal very blond wind-tossled hair. He stood with his back to Song, continuing his silent vigilance.
Finding him had been so easy it surprised her. It wasn't like there's been any 'finding' involved. Next came the hard part.
Her eyes swept over the beach as she approached him. She did not come too close, though. She didn't have enough experience with this version of Calum to know what to expect.
"Captain Rees..." she spoke quietly, adding a slight emphasis to both name and title.
No sooner had she begun to speak, the ring of metal sliced through the air and almost too fast for the eye to follow, the very sharp end of a sword was pointed at Song's throat. Blue eyes narrowed suspiciously at her, quickly taking in how much of a threat she was.
"You're not Lilith."
She froze, resisting the urge to jump back. The suddenness of the attack made her forget for a moment that she couldn't be killed quite that easily in a dream.
"I'm... Song. We've met before."
The sword didn't waver.
"I can assure you we never have, madame."
That was a bad sign. So was his reply.
She tried very, very hard to keep her voice steady. "Once, a year ago, in a dream like this one." Well, it hadn't been exactly like this. It had been Josiah's. "Lilith was there. So was her master."
"That's not what I meant," the pirate said, the faintest trace of a smile appearing on his face as if somewhat amused by some joke Song had yet to grasp. He still did not move the sword away from her throat though.
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "You do remember me, then?"
Very slowly, she raised a hand and tried to push the blade away.
He flicked the blade upwards gently, nudging the underside of her chin. "Miss Song, you should know that my first rule of combat is to never allow my opponent a chance for an opening." He kept watching her carefully. "You are a companion of the boy, are you not? One who invades the dreams of others."
She swallowed, trying to keep her eyes on his rather than crossing them to look at the sword. Given what he'd just said, it probably wouldn't be very diplomatic to warp the dream in order to free herself...
"I... I am, yes. I just want to talk about Lilith..." That was a sloppy explanation, given her usual art at persuasion, but she had a rather good excuse for being slow with words right now.
"What concern is she to you?" he asked casually in the same Welsh accent that had nearly two years ago come from a different person.
At least that was an easy question, even if the answer wasn't mutual. "She's my friend, and I worry about her."
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "A friend? Lilith hardly opens herself up to relationships." He pressed the tip of the sword upward again and this time kept it there. "You are acting surreptiously without either her permission - judging from the fact that she's not here - or the boy's - because you are. What good are you trying to accomplish?"
She fought down a cough and lifted her head a little.
"Would you mind lowering your sword and I'll explain?"
"I prefer it where it is, Miss Song."
This was making it very difficult to think straight, but she had one more idea. Maybe it would even work...
"Would you lower your sword if I say parlay?"
He grinned at her and with an expert flourish, sheathed the sword as quickly as he had drawn it. "I was wondering when you'd get around to that." He rested his hand on the hilt of the sword belt, still ready to draw it again if the need arose. "Trust is not a commodity easily found or earned, as you should know."
She backed up a few steps, but slowly. "Yes, so I've been warned." She did not rub her throat, despite a distinct desire to. It was just a dream...
"To answer your question, I spoke with Lilith earlier and was disappointed to see that she is as, well... frankly, as miserable as I've ever seen her. She was badly distraught by your return, but I'd hoped that things would change now that you're... to put it bluntly, not Darkness-possessed and trying to kill us." The words came a little to quickly, but at least she could muster her usual eloquence now that there wasn't a cold metal point threatening to shish-kabob her neck.
He laughed, a strangely warm and inviting sound. "Ah, so you are attempting to play matchmaker for her sake. I must say, I'm intrigued." He shook his head then, although a small smile was still on his face. "If you have not yet realized, love, Lilith and I are complicated. Your best intentions cannot easily fix this."
Well, she'd made him laugh. That was a good sign... hopefully.
"I gave up on 'easy' about the time I first learned there was more to her than just hatred for you." She met his eyes again. "Nor am I silly enough to think I can force you back together and everything will be fine." Well, that might have been an exaggeration. She doubted it would happen, but that didn't stop an optimist from hoping. "All I want to know is why she adamantly denies the chance."
Calum tapped the edge of the hilt, his gaze almost unnerving and his thoughts unreadable. "That seems to be something you should ask her - I am not an expert on her feelings."
Song rolled her eyes before she could stop herself. "Lilith is not very forward with answers. She responds to that particular subject by storming away, usually. That's why it worries me."
"And you suspect I hold the key to unlocking the inner emotions of a demon." His face went carefully blank as he narrowed his eyes at Song, and in that one brief moment, became more of the formidable opponent that he had become infamous for, the prideful and scheming pirate lord who was as stubborn as he was ruthless. "I'm afraid you may be disappointed."
She hadn't come here without betting that asking the pirate ghost about his possibly non-existent love life was a careless and dangerous move, but damn, the man was still intimidating.
"You know her better than anyone, and she cared more for you than anyone else. I assume she still does." Her hands spread in something between a shrug and a pleading gesture. "I'm tired of seeing her unhappy when I know the source of that is your past, and you're right here within her reach. Does she even come to see you here?"
He remained silent for several, disconcerting moments before evenly replying, "Aye, that is true." Something flashed in his eyes, an emotion that was far too fleeting to identify. "Almost every night she is here."
That came as something of a surprise to Song. Did he mean every night for the last year and more, or had this been a recent developement?
"Does she speak with you often, then?"
"She does."
She was understanding this situation less and less, and told him so. "I don't understand. Today she acted as bitter and furious as she'd been a year ago. Forgive me, but how can nothing have changed between you two?"
"Perhaps you are pushing her too hard for answers."
She was frowning. "I don't know how else to ask. But that wasn't exactly my question. If you won't answer for her, will you tell me how you feel?"
It seemed as if he were measuring each of the answers he was giving her, if the pauses between her words and his were any indication. He turned away from her, just slightly, enough to keep her in his line of sight but also to avoid looking directly at her. "Have you ever considered that perhaps it simply is not your place to meddle in this affair? Everything you know, you know only by biased stories - and stories that you will never know in full."
She heaved a sigh and brushed her hair out of her face, feeling a bit exhausted.
"I can't really help myself, Calum, but maybe I have been approaching this the wrong way. It's not just some matchmaker scheme, and you're not the only ones I'd do this for."Taking a deep breath, she explained,"it goes something like this; unhappiness, anger, and sorrow give people dangerous ideas, for themselves and everyone around them. You and Lilith are both exceptionally dangerous people. I want to know that neither of you is on the verge of turning your back completely on the world and hurting someone else, yourselves, or each other. And I still want to see Lil smile, but maybe that's aiming too high..." She gave an ironic smile herself.
He looked at her askance, stopping the drumming on the hilt of his sword. Despite the humidity in the air and the natural heat that came with a Caribbean night, it suddenly felt that much colder. "Miss Song, have you ever really asked yourself what you would die for? What you would kill for? What you would risk eternal damnation for?" Cold blue eyes glinted in the starlight. "Tell me if that answer is always the same."
Song blinked a few times, and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the cold, once again refraining from warping the dream for her benefit.
"I have, actually, and there are two answers. My dreams - my ambitions - and the people I love." She wasn't sure exactly what point he was trying to make, but she went on. "Lilith claims to have given up on dreams, but she loves. As for you, I've heard you were quite ambitious in life, but I don't know for a fact that you loved her. As you said, I've only heard stories..."
Calum continued giving Song that level, steely blue glower. "And you haven't answered my question. Have your reasons ever changed?"
She considered it, raking over her memories since the fall of earth. Obviously as a Nobody she hadn't been able to love. She'd turned against her people and her world when Xemnas promised to grant her wishes... and yet she'd disobayed him for the life of a friend. More often than not, it felt as if she'd had to make that kind of choice.
"... They have alternated, but I think nothing else has replaced them. What are you getting at?"
"Because," Calum replied evenly, never tearing his glance away, "at one time, there was something or someone I would have moved worlds and risked my soul burning forever to have in my possession... and in one moment, one fateful moment, I became tempted with something else, something darker and more desirable than anything I had encountered before." He turned away, moving closer to the surf, having deemed Song an adversary not worth keeping an eye on. "And until you can understand that, Miss Song, then I doubt you'll understand either Lilith or myself."
Not for the first time in Calum's presence, she found herself trying not to be reminded of Xemnas. Perhaps she'd never experienced what he described for herself, but she'd heard similar stories from more honest people. What's more, this was almost the answer she was looking for, but the pirate had a frustrating knack for being vague.
"You could lead me one step closer to understanding..." she said carefully, "if you tell me which part of that refers to Lilith."
"I thought you enjoyed puzzles," came the dry response.
She really wanted to facepalm about now, but instead she smirked.
"You are almost as stubborn and uncooperative as Lilith. I can only imagine what a fantastic team the two of you must have been."
"Another chapter to your story then."
Speaking of chapters, she didn't see an end to this one any time soon.
She sighed again.
"Well, Captain. It seems I've met my match. She always retreats from these debates, but I think you could stand here and keep your secrets longer than I could stand to question, so I'll just give it one more shot... Since it does seem hard to believe that she could hold onto her old fury while choosing to keep you company so often, is there really reason to worry about her as much as I do?"
He glanced back at her over his shoulder, that same half-smile appearing on his face. "People worry because they find it in their hearts to care. I doubt that anything I say will stop you from caring about her."
Which answered her question not at all. "You just had to prove my point there. Bloody pirate."
At least she could keep her word. She swallowed the temptation to pry any further, paying him back instead with a similar smile and a sketchy curtsy. "I'd like to say it's been a pleasure, but sadly I'm an honest person. I do hope to see you again, though. I'll be sure to remember the code more quickly next time."
He chuckled. "We will see what the horizon brings."
Allowing him the final word, she flew swiftly from the dream and back into the comfort of the waking world.
"You...." she murmured with her lips touching the boy's hair, "...attract stubbornness as much as you attract trouble."
Josiah's brow furrowed at Song's words and the half-kiss, still on the edge of sleep himself, but he didn't wake up immediately - the island and its occupant were buried so deep in his subconscious, he was most likely unaware of its existence at all.
It was all well enough for her - and anything that wasn't could wait until morning. She'd have to rethink her approach to certain problems. As usual, the concept of giving up was foreign to Song.
Feeling pleased despite herself, she curled up beside Josiah and threw an arm over him, discouraging any further rousing. At least she had a chance of winning one battle tonight... he would get enough sleep.
She was quite determined.
~
What: Song finally gets tired of playing out the same scene with Lilith and decides to try a different approach. Naturally, it proves even more frustrating.
Where: Radiant Garden's fountain court, Rainbow's End and Calum's dreamscape
When: Sunday or Monday (log took two nights...)
I do not deal the cards and I play a lousy hand,
I celebrate no victories and my promises are sand,
Against all this I contrast you, when all is lost the war is through...
Song was on the prowl. Her quest was one she'd achieved before, but it was proving tricky this time. She'd tried all the usual places and was now forced to scout out obscure districts of the city at random. Eventually, however, it all paid off in Radiant Garden's peaceful fountain court.
"The Lilith Hunter triumphs again," she announced mildly as she strolled over to meet her quarry.
Lilith, as usual, wasn't expecting company and levelled a cool blue gaze at Song the moment she entered the court. She looked rather unpleased at the sudden company, but said nothing to express her disapproval. Instead, she went back to looking at the cascading walls of water.
The silent treatment was typical. Song was unperturbed. "I guess I'll start with the usual questions. How's life and what in it makes you happy these days?"
Lilith didn't turn back to her when she stonily answered, "As normal as can be expected."
It may have come as no surprise that she didn't answer the latter question.
Song kept her sigh internal. She might have hoped that the year away would help Lilith's mood a touch, if nothing else could. Maybe give her enough time to work on a bit of closure with a certain ghost... but perhaps that was just wishful thinking.
"Well, it's been an exciting time for me. I wasn't even deprived of demonic influence while you were gone. Not entirely."
"Really." It wasn't much of a question. "I thought the goal was to stay out of trouble."
"Staying out of trouble is boring," she responded matter-of-factly. "Anyway, this fellow came looking for you. Made friends with a few of the Refugees while he was here, or tried to. You never told me you had a brother."
Lilith went absolutely still. Slowly, she turned back towards Song, her eyes narrowed, her beautiful face expressionless. "I don't have a brother."
James had mentioned that Lilith might not be terribly happy with him. Still, Song's eyebrows raised high enough to vanish under her bangs. The succubus could be scary.
"James did say you two weren't exactly the same. I got the feeling he was calling you his sister the same way I call Mabry mine."
"James," Lilith said, her voice as cold as an Arctic wind, "is a scheming, dangerous monster. He will never tell you the truth even when you think that he is." Crossing her arms, she took a few steps away from Song, a stormy and frustrated look in her eyes
Oh, dear. That was an unfortunate reaction. It wasn't entirely Song's fault this time, though. She was just the messenger.
She retained her conversational tone. "I'm not so foolish that I expect true friendship and honesty from every demon I run into on the street. I did a very good job resisting his... allure, I'm proud to say. I just thought you should know that he might turn up one day soon."
The dark-haired demon scoffed. "Oh really? Well, consider yourself fortunate."
Song just smiled. "Believe me, I'm not blind to my own good luck." She fell silent for a moment, judging it a good idea not to persue that topic any further without invitation.
For a long, tense moment, Lilith said nothing, just keeping her back to Song, lost in memories that she would not or perhaps could never share. The only sound was from the soft thunder of the water splashing just a few yards away.
Finally, she glanced at Song over her shoulder. "We're not staying long, you know."
The smile was gone by the time Lilith turned her head to look. "He told me. Thank you for coming to rescue me. You were late, but I think it's one of those situations where the thought is what counts."
Lilith shrugged, a small, elegant movement. "It was his idea when you didn't show up. He cares about you very much." Whether or not she herself thought it was a good idea was left unspoken.
"I know." Now it was only consideration for Lilith that kept her from smiling. Flaunting romance in front of the succubus was one of the easiest ways to make her miserable - even more so than usual.
"What have you been doing out there? Do you like the traveling?"
Another shrug. "Traveling is nothing new. I've seen enough worlds from my various masters to last me a thousand lifetimes."
"Well, yes, but at least you're in good company. When's the last time you travelled between worlds with someone you actually care about?" That had taken careful wording. Song knew the last time Lilith had travelled with someone she cared for, but not across worlds. Maybe the casually posed question would even win her some unknown information about the secretive succubus.
Silence. And then...
"We never had the chance. Not when he was..." She stopped herself, shaking her head. "It's inconsequential. What information are you looking for today, Song?"
Dang. Backfire. How hard was it to get backstory from Lilith which didn't involve Calum? Maybe as tricky as it was for Song to talk about her stint as a Nobody without making the story revolve around Xemnas...
"I'm not here to drill you for information. I just enjoy your company. Perhaps I'm a masochist."
"I've never had anyone enjoy my company that wasn't for recreational purposes except for two other people," came the nonchalant response. "And it has never bothered me."
"I didn't ask if it bothered you. I was simply stating a fact. I have this bad habit ofcaring about people, you know, whether or not they return my affection with smiles and hugs." She offered Lilith a small smirk, crossing her arms against the chill.
"Why?" Lilith asked, turning back to frown at Song. She looked genuinely confused. "I have never done to warrant that sort of affection or done anything that has been hospitable or kind to you, and yet you insist on befriending me. Is it because of your attachment to my master?"
Song's eyes flicked to the light-catching fountains as she considered the question. "When he first introduced you, I was just curious. I had things to prove, and part of that involved looking for goodness in beings who are presumed to be evil. I wanted to get to know you so that I could find something good in you, but also because I'd never met an actual demon before. You might have noticed that my greatest lust is for knowledge..."
"So I'm an experiment to satisfy your curiosity?"
"I wasn't finished. That was when I first met you, and those weeks before Xemnas fell. I honestly can't remember how I felt when I argued for your well-being while Josiah was looking for a way to keep everyone safe from you. It is possible I was just trying to win your favor," she conceded. "It is also possible that I only started to really care when I finally found that Light I was looking for."
Lilith rolled her eyes when Song mentioned Light. "I think you're deluding yourself, seeing what you want to see."
That made her grin slightly. "I've been told that before, but you can't deny that I did find some goodness in you, and it was something you had even before Josiah shared his human heart with you."
Lilith crossed her arms, taking on a defensive stance. "Your definition of goodness is very twisted. And I believe it worked more of the other way around, the bond demonizing him more than humanizing me."
Song closed her eyes and lowered her head. "I think perhaps you also have some ability to see only what you want to see. I'm not talking about effects. Caring for someone can have as ill results as favorable ones, even for ordinary humans. I'm talking about the simple ability to care. The desire to act for someone else's benefit instead of your own." She opened her eyes to observe Lilith's reactions. "That is commonly described as Good, you know. Good and Light and all those other fluffy human ideals."
"And when have I ever done that?" Her tone was disbelieving, her expression even more so.
"Generally, falling in love with someone qualifies."
Surprisingly, she didn't clam up at that comment. Instead, she laughed bitterly and her next words were self-deprecating. "And we see how well that often turns out."
Song shrugged. "Well, I did say the results weren't always favorable. I also said that wasn't the point." Her eyes narrowed as something occurred to her. "It seems to me that your measurement of your own worth depends entirely on whether or not you actually achieve something good. Would that be an accurate description?"
Her eyes flashed. "Tch. No. Your head is just full of silly ideas of love and goodness and faith - maybe you don't see that the world isn't like that. I have seen enough of it to know - and I've lived long enough to know myself well."
Song nodded. "That's exactly what I mean. You're only letting yourself see one half of the world. And need I remind you of how you saved several lives a while back, including mine and Josiah's? You freed yourself then, if I understand things correctly. It makes me wonder why you still call him your master."
She glanced off towards the waterfalls. "Perhaps I was only doing that to save myself - it was the only way to kill Calum, after all." She eyed Song warily. "What else would I call him?"
Song let that one go as a point which could be argued indefinitely without conclusion.
"You could try calling him by his name," she suggested with a cautious note of humor. "It's a rather pretty name, and besides, I thought you didn't like having a master."
She gave Song a look as if trying to figure out whether or not she was kidding. When she couldn't decide, she murmured, "It wouldn't seem right."
"Why not?" She accented the question with an innocent tilt of her head.
"Because it wouldn't." The look she gave Song was stony.
It took an effort not to laugh. "It just seems odd, you know, to keep deferring to him the way you do. He's, what... your food supply, travelling companion, and the host of the ghost of your ex-lover," she summerized bluntly. "Is it right to call him Master?"
Lilith's expression didn't budge. "If you're suggesting because of the familiarity I should call him by his name, then you're wrong."
Once again, the same tilted head and wide, innocent eyes. "Why's that? Familiarity is usually the best reason for using someone's name."
"Because of all my masters, there is only one I ever called by his given name. Pardon me if I don't want to go down that road again."
Oh. Well. That was a fair answer, and pretty much killed the almost-casual mood she'd been working on.
"... Ah," she acknowledged in a quiet voice. "I understand." She shut her mouth tightly then, picking her brain for a way to recover the conversation.
Lilith narrowed her eyes at Song, and then shook her head with a sigh, dismissing the conversation with almost too-much ease. "It doesn't matter. We'll be gone in a few days anyway."
Song studied the demon carefully, wearing a similar expression. "What does that matter? You've been gone for a year and a month and nothing's really changed."
"Things usually don't, at least not for those who have eternity to look forward to," came the casual response.
"You could try to change things if you wanted to. If you weren't afraid." She stepped away from Lilith and reached out to touch one of the cascading fountains, watching the water flow around her hand. "If you happened to fail, could you really be much more miserable than you are now?"
Lilith snapped her head towards Song. "I'm not afraid. I'd just rather not waste energy on trying to change the inevitable."
She spared a sideways glance at her would-be friend. "That's not what you said last time I asked."
She shrugged. "Maybe you should stop asking."
"Yes, well, that would require me to stop caring," she answered sarcastically, "and unfortunately I'm afflicted with a condition known as having a heart."
A scowl passed across her face. "You're far too sentimental for your own good."
"Oh, I know. I tell myself that all the time. I must point out, though, that the larger part of sentimentality involves dwelling on the past, and you do quite a lot of that yourself." She closed her fingers around the falling water as if she had the power to catch it. "At least one of us is still trying to change the future as well."
Lilith's eyes flashed with anger. "All of this time, and you really..." She glared darkly at Song before turning on her heel and storming out of the fountain court.
Song watched her go, frowning. Then she focused on the fountain again. The water pouring around her hand suddenly distorted, breaking into separate streams which twisted and spiraled upward, steadily gathering above her fist. Soon a globe of liquid floated there and she opened her hand, palm upward, as the orb began to rotate slowly. The rest of the cascade had parted around it like a veil.
"Nothing is impossible or inevitable. Someday maybe you'll learn that, Lil."
~
The result of the 'succubus hunt' was a source of frustration over the rest of the evening, but also a source of thought. It was starting to look like Song could explain her views in every conceivable way and Lilith would never be convinced. Perhaps it was time to examine the opinion of someone else...
Under the circumstances, it wasn't exactly hard for Song to catch Josiah asleep. She'd even had a year to improve the dream spell since the last time she used it on him. Hopefully that would make this easier...
It wasn't like Josiah's usual dreams - no, this one belonged to someone else entirely. It was a very dark night, not lit even by the moon, and strangely warm, the stars shining down on the crashing white spray of some beach that seemed to stretch on forever. Dunes of sand rose up just a few dozen yards away from the surf, along with patches of scraggly grass. It could have been any miniscule island in the Caribbean, but obviously this one was strangely special...
There was a man, looking out over the waves, dressed in the telltale clothing of a pirate but lacking a signature hat. But that allowed the dim light to reveal very blond wind-tossled hair. He stood with his back to Song, continuing his silent vigilance.
Finding him had been so easy it surprised her. It wasn't like there's been any 'finding' involved. Next came the hard part.
Her eyes swept over the beach as she approached him. She did not come too close, though. She didn't have enough experience with this version of Calum to know what to expect.
"Captain Rees..." she spoke quietly, adding a slight emphasis to both name and title.
No sooner had she begun to speak, the ring of metal sliced through the air and almost too fast for the eye to follow, the very sharp end of a sword was pointed at Song's throat. Blue eyes narrowed suspiciously at her, quickly taking in how much of a threat she was.
"You're not Lilith."
She froze, resisting the urge to jump back. The suddenness of the attack made her forget for a moment that she couldn't be killed quite that easily in a dream.
"I'm... Song. We've met before."
The sword didn't waver.
"I can assure you we never have, madame."
That was a bad sign. So was his reply.
She tried very, very hard to keep her voice steady. "Once, a year ago, in a dream like this one." Well, it hadn't been exactly like this. It had been Josiah's. "Lilith was there. So was her master."
"That's not what I meant," the pirate said, the faintest trace of a smile appearing on his face as if somewhat amused by some joke Song had yet to grasp. He still did not move the sword away from her throat though.
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "You do remember me, then?"
Very slowly, she raised a hand and tried to push the blade away.
He flicked the blade upwards gently, nudging the underside of her chin. "Miss Song, you should know that my first rule of combat is to never allow my opponent a chance for an opening." He kept watching her carefully. "You are a companion of the boy, are you not? One who invades the dreams of others."
She swallowed, trying to keep her eyes on his rather than crossing them to look at the sword. Given what he'd just said, it probably wouldn't be very diplomatic to warp the dream in order to free herself...
"I... I am, yes. I just want to talk about Lilith..." That was a sloppy explanation, given her usual art at persuasion, but she had a rather good excuse for being slow with words right now.
"What concern is she to you?" he asked casually in the same Welsh accent that had nearly two years ago come from a different person.
At least that was an easy question, even if the answer wasn't mutual. "She's my friend, and I worry about her."
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "A friend? Lilith hardly opens herself up to relationships." He pressed the tip of the sword upward again and this time kept it there. "You are acting surreptiously without either her permission - judging from the fact that she's not here - or the boy's - because you are. What good are you trying to accomplish?"
She fought down a cough and lifted her head a little.
"Would you mind lowering your sword and I'll explain?"
"I prefer it where it is, Miss Song."
This was making it very difficult to think straight, but she had one more idea. Maybe it would even work...
"Would you lower your sword if I say parlay?"
He grinned at her and with an expert flourish, sheathed the sword as quickly as he had drawn it. "I was wondering when you'd get around to that." He rested his hand on the hilt of the sword belt, still ready to draw it again if the need arose. "Trust is not a commodity easily found or earned, as you should know."
She backed up a few steps, but slowly. "Yes, so I've been warned." She did not rub her throat, despite a distinct desire to. It was just a dream...
"To answer your question, I spoke with Lilith earlier and was disappointed to see that she is as, well... frankly, as miserable as I've ever seen her. She was badly distraught by your return, but I'd hoped that things would change now that you're... to put it bluntly, not Darkness-possessed and trying to kill us." The words came a little to quickly, but at least she could muster her usual eloquence now that there wasn't a cold metal point threatening to shish-kabob her neck.
He laughed, a strangely warm and inviting sound. "Ah, so you are attempting to play matchmaker for her sake. I must say, I'm intrigued." He shook his head then, although a small smile was still on his face. "If you have not yet realized, love, Lilith and I are complicated. Your best intentions cannot easily fix this."
Well, she'd made him laugh. That was a good sign... hopefully.
"I gave up on 'easy' about the time I first learned there was more to her than just hatred for you." She met his eyes again. "Nor am I silly enough to think I can force you back together and everything will be fine." Well, that might have been an exaggeration. She doubted it would happen, but that didn't stop an optimist from hoping. "All I want to know is why she adamantly denies the chance."
Calum tapped the edge of the hilt, his gaze almost unnerving and his thoughts unreadable. "That seems to be something you should ask her - I am not an expert on her feelings."
Song rolled her eyes before she could stop herself. "Lilith is not very forward with answers. She responds to that particular subject by storming away, usually. That's why it worries me."
"And you suspect I hold the key to unlocking the inner emotions of a demon." His face went carefully blank as he narrowed his eyes at Song, and in that one brief moment, became more of the formidable opponent that he had become infamous for, the prideful and scheming pirate lord who was as stubborn as he was ruthless. "I'm afraid you may be disappointed."
She hadn't come here without betting that asking the pirate ghost about his possibly non-existent love life was a careless and dangerous move, but damn, the man was still intimidating.
"You know her better than anyone, and she cared more for you than anyone else. I assume she still does." Her hands spread in something between a shrug and a pleading gesture. "I'm tired of seeing her unhappy when I know the source of that is your past, and you're right here within her reach. Does she even come to see you here?"
He remained silent for several, disconcerting moments before evenly replying, "Aye, that is true." Something flashed in his eyes, an emotion that was far too fleeting to identify. "Almost every night she is here."
That came as something of a surprise to Song. Did he mean every night for the last year and more, or had this been a recent developement?
"Does she speak with you often, then?"
"She does."
She was understanding this situation less and less, and told him so. "I don't understand. Today she acted as bitter and furious as she'd been a year ago. Forgive me, but how can nothing have changed between you two?"
"Perhaps you are pushing her too hard for answers."
She was frowning. "I don't know how else to ask. But that wasn't exactly my question. If you won't answer for her, will you tell me how you feel?"
It seemed as if he were measuring each of the answers he was giving her, if the pauses between her words and his were any indication. He turned away from her, just slightly, enough to keep her in his line of sight but also to avoid looking directly at her. "Have you ever considered that perhaps it simply is not your place to meddle in this affair? Everything you know, you know only by biased stories - and stories that you will never know in full."
She heaved a sigh and brushed her hair out of her face, feeling a bit exhausted.
"I can't really help myself, Calum, but maybe I have been approaching this the wrong way. It's not just some matchmaker scheme, and you're not the only ones I'd do this for."Taking a deep breath, she explained,"it goes something like this; unhappiness, anger, and sorrow give people dangerous ideas, for themselves and everyone around them. You and Lilith are both exceptionally dangerous people. I want to know that neither of you is on the verge of turning your back completely on the world and hurting someone else, yourselves, or each other. And I still want to see Lil smile, but maybe that's aiming too high..." She gave an ironic smile herself.
He looked at her askance, stopping the drumming on the hilt of his sword. Despite the humidity in the air and the natural heat that came with a Caribbean night, it suddenly felt that much colder. "Miss Song, have you ever really asked yourself what you would die for? What you would kill for? What you would risk eternal damnation for?" Cold blue eyes glinted in the starlight. "Tell me if that answer is always the same."
Song blinked a few times, and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off the cold, once again refraining from warping the dream for her benefit.
"I have, actually, and there are two answers. My dreams - my ambitions - and the people I love." She wasn't sure exactly what point he was trying to make, but she went on. "Lilith claims to have given up on dreams, but she loves. As for you, I've heard you were quite ambitious in life, but I don't know for a fact that you loved her. As you said, I've only heard stories..."
Calum continued giving Song that level, steely blue glower. "And you haven't answered my question. Have your reasons ever changed?"
She considered it, raking over her memories since the fall of earth. Obviously as a Nobody she hadn't been able to love. She'd turned against her people and her world when Xemnas promised to grant her wishes... and yet she'd disobayed him for the life of a friend. More often than not, it felt as if she'd had to make that kind of choice.
"... They have alternated, but I think nothing else has replaced them. What are you getting at?"
"Because," Calum replied evenly, never tearing his glance away, "at one time, there was something or someone I would have moved worlds and risked my soul burning forever to have in my possession... and in one moment, one fateful moment, I became tempted with something else, something darker and more desirable than anything I had encountered before." He turned away, moving closer to the surf, having deemed Song an adversary not worth keeping an eye on. "And until you can understand that, Miss Song, then I doubt you'll understand either Lilith or myself."
Not for the first time in Calum's presence, she found herself trying not to be reminded of Xemnas. Perhaps she'd never experienced what he described for herself, but she'd heard similar stories from more honest people. What's more, this was almost the answer she was looking for, but the pirate had a frustrating knack for being vague.
"You could lead me one step closer to understanding..." she said carefully, "if you tell me which part of that refers to Lilith."
"I thought you enjoyed puzzles," came the dry response.
She really wanted to facepalm about now, but instead she smirked.
"You are almost as stubborn and uncooperative as Lilith. I can only imagine what a fantastic team the two of you must have been."
"Another chapter to your story then."
Speaking of chapters, she didn't see an end to this one any time soon.
She sighed again.
"Well, Captain. It seems I've met my match. She always retreats from these debates, but I think you could stand here and keep your secrets longer than I could stand to question, so I'll just give it one more shot... Since it does seem hard to believe that she could hold onto her old fury while choosing to keep you company so often, is there really reason to worry about her as much as I do?"
He glanced back at her over his shoulder, that same half-smile appearing on his face. "People worry because they find it in their hearts to care. I doubt that anything I say will stop you from caring about her."
Which answered her question not at all. "You just had to prove my point there. Bloody pirate."
At least she could keep her word. She swallowed the temptation to pry any further, paying him back instead with a similar smile and a sketchy curtsy. "I'd like to say it's been a pleasure, but sadly I'm an honest person. I do hope to see you again, though. I'll be sure to remember the code more quickly next time."
He chuckled. "We will see what the horizon brings."
Allowing him the final word, she flew swiftly from the dream and back into the comfort of the waking world.
"You...." she murmured with her lips touching the boy's hair, "...attract stubbornness as much as you attract trouble."
Josiah's brow furrowed at Song's words and the half-kiss, still on the edge of sleep himself, but he didn't wake up immediately - the island and its occupant were buried so deep in his subconscious, he was most likely unaware of its existence at all.
It was all well enough for her - and anything that wasn't could wait until morning. She'd have to rethink her approach to certain problems. As usual, the concept of giving up was foreign to Song.
Feeling pleased despite herself, she curled up beside Josiah and threw an arm over him, discouraging any further rousing. At least she had a chance of winning one battle tonight... he would get enough sleep.
She was quite determined.
~