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[shadowchaser.livejournal.com]

Who: Amy and Song
What: At last, a voice of reason! Okay, so the second one.
When: Sunday, June 27
Where: The Kellogg's apartment, Heatherfield
Status: Complete






Amy peered at the laptop's screen and sighed before hitting the back button. Too many schools, too many choices. Though there really wasn't much point to choosing a school close to the apartment, she didn't think they'd be here that long. She almost jumped as she felt her chair shift, then tilted her head back to look at Jalen. He was leaning over her, hands gripping the back of the chair, frowning.
"Again?"
"What? I'm not doing anything." She gave him her innocent smile, and he shook his head.
"We're going to go home soon, remember? You don't have to-"
Amy gave the chair a shove backwards, cutting him off.
"We are home." She closed the laptop and stood, giving him a look before going to flop onto the couch.

Not wanting to bother the other Refugees - or perhaps she was trying to avoid them - Song had bribed a ride from one of the Disney Castle pilots. They had plenty of ships there. It seemed fair enough.
Finding the place where Amy was staying had been a bit trickier. Song had an almost masculine silliness about asking directions, but she'd sucked it up and asked, and here she was.
She knocked the 'shave and a haircut' rhythm, and waited.

Jalen had been about to start another argument - well, he saw it as trying to reason with his wife, she was the one who claimed he was starting trouble - when he was distracted by the knock. He didn't think it was Ray, so that left Song. With a quick glance in Amy's direction, he went to open the door.
"Thought so. Ray would've just barged in, I think." He gave Song a faint smile and held the door open wider.
"Come in."

She grinned back at Jalen automatically, but there was something more distant than usual in the look. The smile just didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Yeah, I figure I might have a little better luck than Ray. Don't warn Amy, though," she whispered conspiratorially, and winked. "I'm just here for tea."

"Maybe. Prepare to be driven insane." He'd noticed that she seemed a little off, but decided to let it go. Amy would probably get to the root of it faster than he could.
"I'm going to head downstairs for a while, see if your grandfather needs any help."
The statement was addressed to Amy's feet, which were the only part of her visible on the couch. One sneaker bobbed up in acknowledgment, and Jalen almost laughed.
"See you in a while, Song." He slipped out the door, closing it quietly. As soon as it clicked shut, Amy popped up over the back of the couch and smiled at her friend.
"Hey. So, here for tea while you try and get me to stop being 'silly', hm? Fat chance."

Song just smiled patiently at Amy and glided across the room to plop down onto the couch, not too close to Amy. "I'd like to say I'm only here for the tea, but I know you'd see through the lie. I actually..." she glanced away, "...needed to talk about something else, though." The uncertain, abused-puppy tone of her voice was exaggerated, but the feelings behind it were true enough.

Frowning, she scooted closer. "What's wrong? Did something else explode while I wasn't looking?" While she'd been busy off in Normal Land, Jalen had been keeping an eye on the community for her. He'd told her a few things, but not everything, mostly because she wouldn't listen. She almost didn't want to listen now, but Song was her friend. Helping her friends was what she did.
You've been doing a bang up job of it lately.
Amy sighed and shook her head.

Song waved a hand and gave a sigh that tried to be exasperated but rather poorly hid some kind of deeper hurt.
"Oh, you know, I'm just starting to think that Josi's bad luck was contagious. Quite possibly an STD."

She just stared at her for a few seconds, wondering if maybe Song was just a little insane.
"Maybe, and if it is, I'll whack him next time I see him. What happened? Don't make me get Eli, you'll be sorry."
Eli was very threatening for a five month old.

Song raised an eyebrow at her. She'd been hoping for laughter at that one, or at least a blush.
Clearly, Amy was really out of it.
"Didn't you hear?" she said sarcastically. "I was stranded in the Realm of Darkness for a week. Not the best vacation spot."

That earned her another frown and a shake of her head. Jalen definitely hadn't been telling her everything. If he'd mentioned something like this, she certainly would have remembered.
"No, I had no idea. How'd you end up there?"
Amy got to her feet and went into the kitchen, digging around for cups and her tea bags. Tea made everything better, right?
"I've only got raspberry, haven't been to the store yet."

A small spark lit in Song's grey-blue eyes. "Raspberry's perfect. And I have no idea. It happened after we picked up Roxas. Everyone who was ambushed ended up there, but we were separated..." A week was a very long time when you didn't know if you would ever find your way out, and days spent alone were small eternities. "It shouldn't affect me as much as it does," she said quietly. "After everything else, you'd think I'd be stronger."

"Remind me to kick Jalen. Or deny him sex or something." Ordinarily making a comment like that would've resulted in a blush likely to last ten minutes, but half of her mind was occupied making the tea and the other listening to Song.
"You're plenty strong. It was just-" Amy shrugged. She was used to having answers for stuff like this, and failing that, at least an idea. The fact she couldn't come up with one bugged her. She dumped a tea bag into each cup and went back to the couch, holding one out.
"Here."

Song took the cup and wrapped her hands around it, studying the feel of its heat on her palms. It wasn't so pleasant in summer.
"Just what? It wasn't even that bad. The Heartless stayed out of my way, mostly, and we all found each other, and got our own Door of Light. Aqua was there, too, but she didn't recognize me..." She still needed to ask the knight about that. It hadn't seemed like a good time.

"I don't know." Amy was busy studying her own cup and suddenly not feeling much like drinking it. She set it on the side table and curled up on her corner of the couch. A few seconds later, she seemed to remember her sneakers and dropped her feet back on the floor.
"Sounds like an adventure. Too bad I missed it. Maybe. Roxas is okay?"

"Roxas was hurt, but he seems to be mostly recovered. Of course he won't let me help with his bad dreams, and he doesn't remember what happened to him in the first place, though the obvious guess would be the same Disney villains who I fought..." She eyed Amy intently, and added as if it wasn't a completely change of subject, "so why the avoidance act, anyway?"

"Stubborn brat," She muttered, but it was amusing at any rate. She was glad he was okay. Song's question made her shift uncomfortably. Oh goody, here it was at last, though she was actually dreading Ray's arrival. She had a feeling there was going to be a lot of yelling involved in that discussion, and she wasn't going to be the one doing most of it.
"Who says it's an act? I'm just trying to get on with life, that's all."

"So you're going to quit being a Refugee?" Song's tone was calm, practically casual, but it couldn't hide everything underneath. Still, it did a very good job of trying.

She hadn't thought about that. About where they were going to live, sure. Schools for Eli eventually, definitely. But-
"I don't know. I think once you are one, you'll always be. It's just- do you really think we're going to win this time?"
There, it was out. She hadn't even said it to Jalen. It was a fear that she had just kept to herself, deep inside. No one else needed to see it.
"All those worlds falling and we don't know what the hell we're doing, and then Radiant Garden goes, and I guess I just don't see the point. Might as well make some sort of life for us while we can, right?"
Amy got off the couch and motioned to Song. "Come see Eli, he's probably awake now."
She headed towards the bedroom without waiting for a response.

Song was honestly startled by Amy's answer, but she got up - still holding her tea - and followed immediately.
"The world's not going to end, Amy, even if we can't fix everything. We'd probably even survive a miserable failure. If that happens, then I suppose I couldn't blame you for moving on, but I think you're acting on unreasonable fear right now. It's too soon, Amy." She reached out and caught her friend's wrist, stopping her just a step outside the bedroom door.
"Give up now, and you make the future worse for Eli, not better." Even saying that, her voice was still soft.

"...You sound like Jalen." She glanced down at Song's grip on her wrist and pulled away gently. No need to be a brat about it. Moving the rest of the way into the bedroom, she smiled as she saw a small hand wave from within the crib.
"Hey Eli."
Grinning, she hurried over and lifted him out, hugging him. Her baby, she'd fought so hard for him...She was doing the right thing for him, wasn't she?
"Come say hi to your nephew, he hasn't seen you in forever."

So it wasn't going to be that easy. Well, that was fine. Song may have had problems with waiting, but when she was working on a scientific or psychological project, she could have all the patience in the world.
She stayed where she was, but her eyes fell on Eli.
"You wouldn't be the first Refugee to quit the battlefield. I can't blame you for that alone, but again, you're doing it for the wrong reason."

"It's not quitting. It's..." Amy shook her head, carrying her son over to Song. "Okay, maybe it is. Sort of. Oh hell, I don't know anymore. I just want everything to be normal again. And don't tell me I have to help make it that way. That's all I hear from Jalen."
She shifted Eli around so he could see his aunt, and grinned as he immediately went for Song's necklace.
"Bet it woulda been your hair, if it'd still been long enough."

Song's right eye may have twitched, just slightly, at the hair comment. She didn't stop the kid from toying with her jingly necklace, though.
"What will you do if this world falls?" she asked softly, and perhaps a little coldly.

The grin faded immediately. Amy took a step back, which jerked the rings away from Eli. He immediately opened up his mouth and howled.
"Shh, shh, mommy's sorry..."
She turned away, rubbing his back as she soothed him. She had an answer for this one, she just didn't want to say it. She doubted that Song would smack her upside the head, but there was always a first time.
"End up somewhere else."
Yeah, 'cause sarcasm was so much better.

She wasn't entirely sure what to make of Amy's tone. It sounded like there was a different answer on her mind, but if so, Song couldn't guess it.
However, she did have a response to what was given.
"If you break communication with the Refugees, you won't have anyone to get you out."

She didn't respond, simply concentrated on calming Eli down before she lowered him back into his crib and handed him a little black teddy bear.
"Maybe I wouldn't need them. I have other friends, you know."
As soon as the words were out, she shook her head. What was wrong with her today?
"Sorry, I didn't mean that." Amy pushed her glasses up a little, then dropped onto the foot of the bed. It was time to stop pretending everything was perfectly fine, long past, and she knew that, but...
"We could go to Meridian. It's still safe there, the Heartless can't get in."

Song nodded, actually looking relieved. "That's something. Make sure you have quick access to it, please. Worlds can fall fast." Her tone darkened on the last sentence, and her gaze dropped to the floor. For just a moment, she deeply envied Amy for having Jalen so close and ready to hold her whenever she could use some comfort.

For just a second irritation flashed through her at Song's words. She knew how fast worlds could fall, she didn't need any reminding. It faded quickly as she watched Song's gaze drop. Amy jumped back up and crossed over to her, throwing her arms around her in a hug.

Song stiffened, and her eyes actually went wide for a second. It wasn't quite the type of hug she was wishing for (or rather, not from the right person), but it was something.
She did not hug Amy back, but she relaxed a little, and didn't try to escape.
Her resolve, however, had not wavered.
"I don't want you to get hurt, Amy," she said quietly. "And I think you're making a mistake."

"I know." She smiled faintly, even though the situation was far from appropriate for it. Letting go of her friend, she backed up two or three steps and shoved her hands in her jean pockets.
"I'll keep us safe, so don't worry too much. Who knows, maybe Ray'll have better luck when she gets here. Jalen told me about the tongue-lashing she gave him, so I'm not really looking forward to getting one of my own."

Song raised her eyebrows at that and tried not to be annoyed at the suggestion that Ray could succeed where she couldn't.
"If you know, then why?" she asked, sounding a little disheartened because it was probably more effective than sounding irritated.

"Because...I can control this." It really was that simple, wasn't it? She couldn't control the worlds falling, she couldn't do much about figuring out who was behind screwing them over, but this, this she could control.
"Kinda stupid, once it's out there."

Song's eyes narrowed in a small frown.
She understood.
And yet, she kept arguing.
"...You can only control it much as any human can control his or her life, if you think about it. Ordinary life has as many risks as what we do, they're just different ones." This next part she hated to say, and it was almost physically difficult, but she didn't know a simpler way to make her point. "If Eli went out in a couple years and got hit by a car, or if Jalen got mugged and shot because he's not trained to fight against guns, it would be just as bad as if the world ended. Worse, for you. When we're fighting to save the universe, flying between worlds and wielding magic...we have more control than any other mere mortal."

"Don't. Don't even say that." Heart pounding, she yanked her hands free of her pockets and went back to the crib, wrapping her fingers around the bar as she watched Eli. God, she hated her imagination sometimes. Any little thing...
"I think we should cut the visit short, I've got stuff to do. Laundry and things."
Running away again, who, her?

Song eyed her pointedly, and resisted the urge to apologize. It would imply that she was conceding her point, which she wasn't.
"Of course. I can't stay long anyway. I borrowed a ship and the pilot came with it."
She didn't actually move quite yet.

"Yeah...maybe they'll start charging us. That would kind of suck." Amy stayed where she was, still gripping the crib, maybe a little too tight. She let go slowly, taking a slow breath in. Everything was fine.
"So...we'll probably visit soon. I mean, if you end up staying in one place for a while. Or you could just come back. I could drag you off to Meridian, you could meet another queen." Random babbling, go.

"I'd like that..." Though she wasn't so sure she liked the conversation itself. She knew Amy would think about what was said, but her insistence on clinging to this 'normal' life was annoying. It had never bothered her with the other Refugees who'd gone back to earth, but then, she hadn't been so attached to most of them. She realized that, in Amy's case, she actually felt personally abandoned. Not that she would tell Amy that, of course.
"See ya." She turned and left quickly, not stopping to bid Jalen farewell.